No Fish in the Sky

Old Chinese proverb. For my entire life, I was looking for fish in the sky. Never content to believe one would never appear, I just kept hoping. Dreaming even. Keeping watch day and night, ever vigilant, just in case I might miss the sighting. All that time, I was looking but not seeing. Looking up.  Old Chinese proverb continues, no birds in the sea.  Not fishes and loaves, fish and birds in places they should not be, according to the natural order of things. But, if you are creating your own version of that natural order, then why not? Why not expect to see fish leaping above your head and birds out of sight and beyond your grasp in blue waters? What was it that I wanted to see? I never knew. I only knew that it was out there and I had to find it. Hard to do if you don't know what it is, but I never asked that question. Never let myself. Is it too late? I wonder about that. Wonder if that happiness that I am sure will appear once I find what I am looking for will still be waiting. Standing on a street corner arms open for the embrace.  Asking to be tucked into the folds of a cape three times too large and transporting me to the other side of the street where I have been waiting for years.