More than ever, I am drawn to the light. Like a moth, yet no longer seeking my own destruction. I am looking for a way to navigate- looking towards the stars for my own way forward. Needing the window open at all times. Just in case the path clears and it is time. Because it is the life I have, the way has never been straightforward. Until now. A beacon guides me. Hovers over me. Opening, not closing.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
What was given
On this last day of the last year you lived, it is time to let go. To let go of your finger tips. So worn and soft. The aroma of you which still intoxicates. Lingering just barely. To eviscerate in order to move forward. Yet everything reminds me of you. The air is crisp, the way you liked it. It would have made you rosy and the light would have reflected in your eyes. There is no questioning. It is undying love.Your orphans still mourn you. It will always be so. The piece we lost was small but it connected the whole. Living as a memory isn't easy, but you made it seem so. We breathed you in and you let us take pieces of you- the ones we needed most. I took the cream. The solid good that always remained. I've tried to integrate you into myself. I realize I don't need to wear pearls to do this. But on this last day, I will go collect the final necklace that links us and I will wear it. I will warm the pearls and they will come alive. One by one. It is a long necklace and it might take a few hours to revive them all. But at the end, the memory will be imparted and then it will be time. I will walk down to the beach. Alone. What I wanted most was to dream. But that was not given.
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