I miss you more

I could never have imagined. Your smile. Your eyes. The sound of your breathing. The way you hummed as you pushed your walker. The bones in your shoulders. You left so quickly. So well intentioned. We were left behind. The wall got higher and thicker. But you managed to slip out and visit. I am grateful that the urge to travel hasn't left you.  You were eating. A favorite pastime. Sprawled like an  odalisque. Where is the meaning? Am I dreaming about you or am I dreaming about me? I no longer worry about you. Instead of reassuring me, it leaves a vast and empty space.I peer in and see nothing. I don't know how to move without you. My eyes reflect your blue.  I was devoted. I was devout.  A little girl circles. She whispers to me. I can see you. I can see you. It gives me hope that soon I will see myself. Guided by the blue of sea and sky. And a little girl whispering.