I can still laugh. That is what I have discovered in the last week. No matter how hard it is when you come to mind. No matter how much it still hurts. I am still capable of laughter. Maybe even more than before. Your death has made everyone dearer. Put faces into sharper focus. Intensified embraces.
Swinging between loss and laughter. Between you and me. Daring myself to believe that I can do something I have never done before. I could dye my hair red. Pack myself into tight jeans and cowboy boots. Go dancing.
My laughter is not coming from the same place. It is deeper. Louder. Sweeter. What has come between us is nothing more than what was there. I can just see it now. Feel the provenance. Finally. In that brief moment when the summer skies darken. Right before the dawn.
Swinging between loss and laughter. Between you and me. Daring myself to believe that I can do something I have never done before. I could dye my hair red. Pack myself into tight jeans and cowboy boots. Go dancing.
My laughter is not coming from the same place. It is deeper. Louder. Sweeter. What has come between us is nothing more than what was there. I can just see it now. Feel the provenance. Finally. In that brief moment when the summer skies darken. Right before the dawn.
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